Transformational life coach, Bianca Badenhorst, gives useful tips on how to better manage stress, use social media in a healthy way, and build your self-esteem and confidence.
How to manage stress
Our minds are always so busy – always five steps ahead, but we have to realise that most of the things we stress about never really actualise. The best way to deal with stress is to make a priority list.
Focus on the task at hand and be present. Engage yourself in what you are doing instead of always worrying about the next thing that need to be done – this is one of the best ways to eliminate stress. People are seldom present in the moment, embracing life and the small things they have to be grateful for. We are either anxious about the future or we worry about repeating the past, which leads to depression.
Stop overthinking every single thing! The best attitude to have an attitude of gratitude. Take 15 minutes out of your day to focus on the following three areas:
- Five minutes – Mind (meditate, practice affirmation).
- Five minutes – Body (stretching, drink magnesium). Exercise is a great way to release stress.
- Five minutes – Soul (do some slow breathing from your tummy: breathe in for 4 seconds as your tummy expands, pause, then exhale for eight seconds as your tummy deflates). Journal your thoughts and write down all the things you are grateful for as it is a great way to shift your emotional state – gratitude is the best attitude.
Using social media in a healthy way
People often get caught up in the ‘comparison game’ and feel depressed because others’ lives appear ‘perfect’ on social media. So first and foremost, do a social media cleanse. Control what you consume – get entirely off platforms with a large amount of negativity and filter the content on the platforms you choose to engage with. View social media as a source of inspiration, ideas and growth instead of engaging in negativity and comparison.
Cut down the time you spend on social media, as it is a time vacuum (people think ‘I’m just going to go on for five minutes’ and when they look again, an hour has passed). Social media is the default outlet for boredom. Rather use your time wisely by reading a good book or invest your free time in a new hobby or personal development.
Tips on building your self-esteem and confidence
There is a difference between your confidence and your self-esteem. Confidence is your ability to know what you can achieve. Self-esteem is the story you tell yourself about yourself – what is your internal dialogue like when you aren’t having the best day? Is it positive, empowering and uplifting or self-sabotaging, where you judge yourself and put yourself on a guilt-trip? Negativity is your number one enemy. Start to rewrite the story you tell yourself about yourself. Forget what anyone has ever told you about you – know your worth; you know yourself better than anyone ever will.
Know your strength and focus on it, also know your weakness and instead of selling yourself short or resisting or beating yourself up for it, consciously work on improving it – life coaching is a great way to assist you with this. I often remind my clients to reconnect with themselves; it’s easy to lose touch with who you are as we get consumed with life, work and all kinds responsibilities and commitments. No one is ever lost or broken, you have just lost connection with who you truly are.
We often rely on external validation to make us feel good about ourselves but it only makes us feel good for a day, a week or maybe even a month. Then it starts to wear off. Feeling good starts from within: love and accept yourself for who you are – the good and the bad – and spend some quality time with yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Tips on setting and achieving goals
Avoid perfectionism, and set yourself realistic and practical goals. Tunnel your focus by writing down your goals (because your subconscious mind needs to resonate with your goals) in the positive present tense as if you have already achieved them – the same format as an affirmation. Want = lack, and one day will always only ever be one day.
Create a vision board of your goals and stick it on your wall. This is a great way to stay focused on your goal and remind yourself of where you are going. Remember: where your focus goes, your energy flows. Most importantly, make sure your goals are in alignment with who you are.
Tips on living a balanced life
A lot of people feel overwhelmed and like they are juggling a million things. How does one achieve balance? Wake up earlier, and give yourself a head start for your day – as mentioned above, take 15 minutes for yourself to regroup and re-align yourself.
Get organised – start with small things that matter most, and build to a more manageable amount. Facing your fears and taking action is the best way to stop procrastination. All of the tips mentioned above are great for finding balance and keeping your sanity.
Contact Bianca for a complimentary assessment session: